Ohhh!!! I’m going to be in the history books for being (seemingly) the first person on neocities to make a Residents Shrine!!!!!!
The Residents are an American avant-garde band who have been around since the late sixties. Their main gimmick is that they are incredibly anonymous, following the Theory of Obscurity and Phonetic Organization. The Theory of Obscurity states that an artist makes their best work when they have no concern for the outside world’s expectations while the Theory of Phonetic Organization states that an artist should build their music around sounds instead of building sounds around their musical piece. Idk that latter one is hard to describe lol. This band’s history is extremely immense, and it certainly can’t be explained all in one post.
I've been a fan of the Residents since like May of 2020. It's kinda funny story how I got into them. My first Residents thing I was exposed to was their One Minute Movies music video and I saw that shit and was like "wow this is pretty cool this music's cool but I probably will be disappointed with their other stuff they seem like some Devo bitches lol". LOOK AT ME NOW! I'm COOCOO FOR THE RESIDENTS! Being a Residents fan is a lifetime commitment.
Forgive me I was in dormancy for like 5 years so I don't have the same experience with the Residents like Xavier had. I'm a pretty big Residents fan as well and I also have a sorta funny story of how I got into them. I think it happened last year before or around when I first got back into practicing the accordion. Xavier and I were eating lunch and they decided to play "My Brother Paul", and I was just fucking hooked man. I don't remember if they were like "yo Huh check this out", but I remember being entranced by this song. It was so "mecore" as the kids would say. I would later on listen to Meet the Residents in this sorta meditative manner (and I listen to almost all music like this because music kinda puts me into a trance), which utterly fascinated me through its musical evolution and also "medidating" to that shit was awesome. Also the live version of The Car Theif does things to me. It's just one of those things that shows how good the accordion is at being a mellow and sentimental instrument. Also Xavier's going to be the one talking the most here, just a clarification.ABOUT THE PLAYLIST: Warning, a portion of the tracks are loud and track 1 uses a bit of outdated ableist language. Please listen or skim through them in the pre-existing order. Some tracks (21-24 and 2-3) are supposed to transition into one another. Anyways, this is a collection of Xavier and Huh's favorite Residents songs! The playlist is also "divided" into segments that illustrate major emotions in the Residents discography somewhat. Those themes are (in order): Indimidation (1-7), Mystery (8-12), Chaos/Energy (13-17), Progression/Evolution (17-25), and Bittersweet (26-31). Please enjoy the playlist if you choose to listen to it!
Why the Residents are Fucking Awesome
They are insanely fucking fascinating. Where do I even begin? This band has quite the rich history (albeit a bunch of it is probably made up) and interesting ideas presented in their work. They’ve made a variety of things too: (attempted to make) movies, video games, and they even attempted to create a ballet for one of their tracks from Fingerprince. You really could get lost diving into the history and work of this band; it’s certainly happened to me. Furthermore, experimental/avant-garde art just has a very interesting history behind it and brings a lot of satisfaction when you take the time to appreciate it.
The Residents are very great with illustration through music, which is great for things such as movie soundtracks. They have done a couple of soundtracks for films such as the Census Taker, though they generally make their soundtracks for personal projects such as Whatever Happened to Vileness Fats and Triple Trouble. Two albums that showcase their illustration abilities are Mark of the Mole and Esk*m* (which I'll be calling the "E-slur album" for now on for obvious reasons). Mark of the Mole’s strong delivery of emotion can be seen the most in the second track, the Ultimate Disaster, which consists of the Molhemot race enduring a natural disaster, sprinkled with their cries for it to stop. The latter album is a bit more complicated to explain, and it somewhat doesn’t seem like the illustration in this album is all that strong since you need a guide in order to understand the narrative of the album. However, some of the little details really bring the album together. While there aren’t really lyrics in the tracks, you can overhear some dialogue from the Arctic Natives who say things that are ridiculous and unrealistic, further emphasizing the E-slur album’s goal of creating a false narrative that emulates the white lens and consumerism leaking into our perception of reality. The Residents also use a combination of synthesizers and “real field recordings” of ambience from the arctic, creating something that feels real at first, but ultimately feels artificial. This last detail is more of a personal one. All of the tracks feel like you’re hearing them from afar, despite the fact that the Residents don’t necessarily attempt to illustrate that. Even in tracks that take place in a small setting, such as “Birth”, feel distant, which give off this feeling of getting the vague beats of something, but never knowing the whole thing. It also contrasts well with the fact that the album illustrates various intimate moments, emulating exoticism pretty damn well. Residents podcast "Home Age Conversations" did a good cover on this one, and I'll link their episode here. Home Age Conversations
Their composing abilities are an acquired taste I imagine, but they are most definitely great. Though I much prefer their early pieces where they follow their theory of Phonetic Organization more faithfully, their compositions are still good; they’re just different. I’m going to cover their earlier pieces because that’s what I’m more familiar with and well, I think I’m very attached to Meet the Residents. The previously mentioned album is a good example of how a piece by the Residents "evolves", recontexulizing instrumentals through tape manipulation. To add upon Xavier's previous point about their illustration skills, this album illustrates really unique emotions, at least in my eyes. N-ER-GEE (Crisis Blues) is a portrayal of trying to a deny a problem until it grows out of control, which pairs nicely with its underlying themes of environmentalism. Most of the tracks don't really have a "meaning" and are just a nice exploration with sound.My Brother Paul is a track from Demons Dance Alone, and it makes me realize that this whole "portraying specific emotions" can be seen in other albums and such. How Demons Dance Alone portrays greif through its (at first) tacky soundfonts ends up hitting a special way, especially in My Brother Paul. The song is oddly whimsical in tone, and I always imagine some kind of winter wonderland to it. Despite its whimsical tone, the lyrics paint this depressing situation that's kinda hard to decipher. The lyrics can be seen as someone gaslighting another person who struggles to express emotions, but I sorta interpret the song about both characters in the song (excluding Paul, who is out of the picture) being miserable and making each other miserable. There's also the poltical undertones, hinted through Paul "committing himself to the war" and also the album being inspired by 9/11. I'd love to talk about those poltical themes, but we only got so much time and this is probably a topic better for some other time. Anyways, even if you can't catch the poltical themes, Demons Dance Alone can still be striking by how distinctly depressing it is.
Something Xavier and I love about the Residents is how many of their songs have this nusery rhyme-like rhythm to their lyrics. We'd make some kind of tacky YouTube video about it if we had a better understanding of poetic meter. However, I'd like to give out some observations about it still. This distinct meter could be caused by the Theory of Phonetic Organization, attempting to emphasize the instrumental and such. I also think the surreal and childish language a chunk of their lyrics have also plays into it, especially when considering a lot of nusery rhymes are about some weird situations. Even though they have a whole EP remixing nusery rhymes, I think Duck Stab is really the epitome of this. I imagine Duck Stab's lyrical prose is one of the reasons it's one of the most popular Residents albums because that album is very fun to listen to.
I wish I had the brain slop to talk about the more underlying themes of the Residents' stuff instead of just the musical side of it. Xavier's doing a great job with that, I haven't listened to them as much as xey have, and I also haven't thought about the Residents in that manner that much soooooo yeah.
THE CHARACTERS THEY CREATE!!!!!! BY THE HEAVENS! A majority of the characters made by the Residents tend to be pretty dimensional and it’s pretty damn impressive. I suppose it’s also expected, since the band has done quite a few concept albums. However, one of the characters they’ve created that is one of my faves isn’t even from one of these concept albums, but rather a track on Duck Stab. The Electrocutioner is the final track on Duck Stab and it illustrates the character of the same name, who kills/executes people via electrocution and takes great ecstasy from it. In the second half of the song, it’s revealed that the Electrocutioner finds enjoyment in killing people because she thinks she’s doing an active justice and doesn’t understand why other people don’t see it as such. Additionally, the second half also shows this more calm and mysterious side to her, in contrast to the loud and chaotic beginning of the song. Not only is this song just fantastic, but I believe it’s a great example of how you should make a song that illustrates a character. Also I love this song so much I made an oc based off of it, and she's my favorite oc lol. Some other characters that the Residents have made that I like are Ted, Jello Jack, Mr. X, the narrator from the River of Crime, and the Google God.
Here's a quick run-down of reasons for those characters I mentioned. Ted from Bad Day at the Midway is a really special case because he's eerily similar to one of my Gregory Horror Show ocs and also he's the voiceclaim I have for that oc. If it weren't for my bestie Rhys gushing over how much this character rocks, I wouldn't be that into Jello Jack (from Freak Show) as I am now. Mr. X Indeed from God in Three Persons is a really interesting character study, and I really like how he describes things. This guy has the most white rapping I've ever heard, but it works really well for this character who's supposed to be this Evangelical type. The unnamed narrator from the River of Crime is a real good one. He's so detached from the world because of his obsession with crime and he has this really striking moment when a certain thing happens in the plot I'd rather not spoil. Also the River of Crime predicted true crime fans and that fucking audio drama came out in 2006. THE GOOGLE GOD FROM I MURDERED MOMMY!!! Not only does this fucker look cool, it's interesting and a literal it/he icon I'm serious. I just like how "woe is me" this character, who is literally the god of the universe, is. I like imaging interacting with the Atom/Andy Atom.
Also the fucking costumes. Their fucking disguises. Why do some of them go really fucking hard. Also why the fuck are the eyeballs so silly in irl interviews like you watch one of these interviews and they’re just the silliest motherfuckers alive. I wanna note that the album covers have a tendency to go fucking hard. Usually this is because they have cool visuals, but some of them have details that are really interesting. At first, I thought the E-slur album looked kinda fun and that was all, but once I listened to the album, I realized how it reflected the themes of the album. This album cover is the first instance of the Residents’ iconic eyeball disguises, and the eyeballs were originally intended to be silver spheres that reflected the Arctic mists, but this idea was ultimately impractical and they opted out for eyeballs. To be honest, I think the eyeballs add to the cover. With the eyeballs, it subtly gives this clarification that the album is being made by people who are foreign to the environment, and thus that environment they illustrate is abstracted and only shows the surface level perception of the Arctic and the indigenous people of the region. And it also is a good example of the symbolism of the eyeball heads, which represents that the Residents are looking out at the world. A large part of their artwork is that it represents the Residents' reflections on American culture. They're looking at us. It's either with judgement or intrigue or both, but it's clear that they're looking at us. The fact that the eyeball is something so expressionless also helps with that motif of the Theory of Obscurity.
As much as the disguies are fun, some of them are multipurposed. Outside of the eyeballs, a couple of their other costumes (mainly the CUBE-E Cowboys and others like it) carry on that "observing" motif. The eyes of the CUBE-E cowboys are these piercing lights on a black body, again amplifying the Residents' ambiguity. They're really effective and also really really cool costumes, which probably explains why a portion of their disguises look similar to it.
Top ten moments in Residents history/Trivia
Most of this is just stuff I've discovered whilst surfing the web for niche Residents stuff. Look at it.
Okay so basically Ralph Records did some kinda crazy shit on their 10th anniversary. Outside of that radio special they did with Penn Jillette, they made a gift pack with the most random objects in there, and it makes me nuts. The Tunes of Two Cities aspirin especially. Fucking aspirin. I wanna take the aspirin and get immediately hospitalized.
I remember spending a couple days to find this image because I didn't save it and shit when I first found it in the Meet the Residents wiki. But the power of Tunes of Two Cities aspirin being the funniest thing to me helped me to keep truckin on forward. I'd like to share a quote from the Eyes Scream: a History of the Residents, since I think about it everytime I see the sponge from this gift pack.
"The Residents even have a sponge. The Rolling Stones don't have a sponge. Well, they had a sponge but he died in a swimming pool. Here's some live stuff.-Penn Jillette
Another piece of Residents history related to the tenth anniversary special of Ralph Records. I'm uncertain if this was actually fucking real or just made up, but the premise of the radio special is magician and personality Penn Jillette is locked in a motel room for like a week, only with some basic necessities and a shit load of Ralph Records music (primarily the Residents). The radio special's pretty good and can be seen as an interesting take on the Residents. Click on the image to listen to the special.
This comic series wasn't canon, taking stuff from the original mole trilogy and making something new. This version is a lot more sci-fi and has a more complex plot. Phreddie Flintmole is the protagonist, being a musician who gets regularly discriminated against by the Chubs. Exhausted from constant exposure, he fakes his death and becomes an obscured artist. I'm pretty sure there's more than one protagonist though, and the series follows more than one plotline. Looking at the plot summary, this series seems kinda wild. Sadly, I don't think there's any scans of it online, and listings for the comix are usually really expensive. I know someone on Tumblr (not a mutual though) who owns all the books, but they haven't uploaded any scans or such (probably because they don't have a scanner or something).
Just fucking look at this.
There's this DVD that compiles a bunch of music videos made for every song from the Commercial Album. Great stuff! I love it! I'm so glad to have a physical copy of this! What's with the fucking chimp though! When you finish watching all the music videos on the DVD, they just fucking play this gif of a monkey playing with a garden hose for some reason. I love it and I just wanted to point it out because it's silly.
AT LEAST THIS ISN'T THE SCARY SKULLS!!! So like, one of the features on the DVD is this maze that kinda works as an alternative scene selection menu, and when you get to a dead end, this fucking skull pops around the corner??? It's kinda ominous but very funny. The Residents and their damn DVD menus.
image of the fabled monkey gif. tbh it's kinda cute
I'd make the image in question smaller if there wasn't so much text on it.
I don't really have much to say here other than this is kinda crazy. I found this during one of my Residents internet spelunking sessions on a tumblr blog (I think the blog was Diskomo). If you're a fan of the Banana Splits then this image is for you I guess.
You don't understand. It took me FIVE HOURS TO FIND THIS FUCKING IMAGE. You better look at this shit and think it's funny because I broke my ass trying to find it. So like yeah, this is for the W.E.I.R.D. club that the Residents had during the late 70s to 80s I think. Idk if this was an advertisement or what. I'd probably remember if I remembered where I got this image. Anyways. Our saviors are born. Merry Santa Dog day. Merry Brumalia.
Idk how legit this is but then again the Residents have made some crazy shit. I think a friend of mine found this on an auctioning site. Maybe one day I'd talk about all the Residents merch I'm aware of but idk. So basically this has pictures of I think Mother Teresa, Princess Diana, Martin Luther King Jr, Fucking Malcom X, and a Resident. It's not everyday you see goddamn Malcom X on a bracelet. Nonetheless they were kinda spitting fact here tbh. The Residents at it again with the woke mind virus.
I'd rather not put "fanart" on this list but like. This is bizarre. Found this on an archive of the Residents' old MySpace account. I think this is in Second Life???? This goes hard.
we should join these random people and have a Residents cake for our birthday soon.
FAVE SONGS N ALBUMS
XAVIER'S FUCKIGN UNDERATED THINGS SHITS HELL!
- March de la Winni (Fingerprince)
- The Electrocutioner (Duck Stab)
- Spotted Pinto Bean (Meet the Residents) s
- You YesYesYes (Fingerprince)
- The Ultimate Disaster (Mark of the Mole)
- Mousetrap (Tunes of Two Cities)
- Melancholy Clumps (Wormwood)
- The Talk of Creatures (The Commercial Album)
- Fire Fall (Wormwood)
- Everyone Comes to the Freak Show and also Nobody Laughs When They Leave (Freak Show)
- My Brother Paul (Demons Dance Alone)
- 6 Things to a Cycle (Fingerprince)
- Boots, Numb Erone, Guylum Bardot, and Breath & Length (Meet the Residents)
- The Importance of Evergreen (Whatever Happened to Vileness Fats?)
- The Car Theif (Demons Dance Alone)
- Monkey and Bunny (Title In Limbo)
- In the Beginning (Wormwood)
- Spotted Pinto Bean (Meet the Residents)
- That Pre-MIDI Macintosh demo thing it's on the winamp lol
- March de la Winni (Fingerprince)
Should You Really Listen to the Residents?
Right... so uhm... the Residents have some shit going on with them.
I have had a draft for what I was going to write in this shrine for over a year. When I formerly written the first draft, I had more conflicting feelings about this topic. Back in early to mid 2022, I attempted to "divorce" myself from the Residents after I looked into the E-slur album and the Third Reich N' Roll. At that time, I was understandably upset by the content within them, though it was clear that I didn't have the ability to break those projects down like I do now. As a result, when I went back to them in around July of 2022, I did so with great caution and many OCD thought obsessions. I am not mad at that past self, but I still feel like there are necessary things to note and that this section holds some important reflections.
A lot of their "problematic/questionable" content is a byproduct of them living by the Theory of Obscurity. While I think their Gingerbread Man track "The Confused Transsexual" is very good example of this, I would like to cover that track on my Gingerbread Man analysis page. For the time being, I shall discuss their third studio album "The Third Reich N' Roll" since it's good to break down in this situation and it's their most well known controversy. (There's also a couple other situations I could mention, but I feel like some of it should be things you engage and reflect upon yourself if you choose to get into the Residents.)
Like a good handful of their content during the 70s, The Third Reich N' Roll has some intense content/themes that can't be approached with the mindset some "terminally online" folk have. The album is a satire of top 40s Rock and Roll songs, highlighting the good and bad associated with that time and the music. It's a really good album and especially great with portraying that vapid nature of mainstream music. However, there's something about this album that is very easy to notice... that cover.
The Nazi theming certainly feels out of fucking pocket, especially when you aren't familiar with the era the album is coming. For clarification, Dick Clark (who is pictured on this album) was an American personality that hosted programs talking about Rock and Roll music. Supposedly (and this is coming from a friend so take this with a side of salt), Dick Clark was a fascist, which explains the Nazi theming on the cover and title. And there are ties with the aesthetics and the actual tracks in the album, though I feel like they aren't tied strongly enough to justify the themes of Nazism. Because these ties between the imagery and themes isn't strong enough, it's very easy to get the wrong idea from this piece. Topics such as Nazism, in my opinion, need a good tie or "explanation" to be used in a piece or else it'll come out feeling really tonedeaf and give the wrong idea.
In addition, I would like you to read this excerpt from the Buy or Die magazine, specifically the second and third paragraphs, since I feel like it gives good clarification:
"The music reeks with abandoned humor which makes one smile but not necessarily feel good."
When I read this part for the first time back in 2022, something clicked. While it didn't instantly make me understand what I understand now, it really did help. This period in my life made really understand what it feels like to be discomforted at art. And although I still do not like the methods the Residents used for this album, it certainly is worthwhile to reflect on this album and stuff like it.
This excerpt also gives solid insight on the Residents' philosophy. A lot of their work reflects upon American culture and that relationship they have with it. Of course there is also the Theory of Obscurity, which adds another layer to the conversation. As enritching discussing this can be, it does leave reasonable concern in some situations. Because of this ambiguity, how they want to be viewed becomes a question. Are we supposed to see the Residents as people or some kind of byproduct of American culture? Are we really supposed to be asking or demanding answers from a band whose main gimmick is trying to obscure themselves as much as possible? Should we really be lisetning to the Residents?
At the end of the day, the Residents still are people, and thus their actions aren't something we should ignore. However, in almost all of these more morally complicated pieces, it becomes clear that they are trying to do something. This isn't like Space Goofs or anything where you can look at the problematic content and go "yeah this is awful, but this shit's from France so it's kinda inevitable." They are trying to do something here. They're trying to communicate something and they want to look at it. They want you to remember that some things are unfortunately real.
Also, it's not like they don't want to you to ignore that they're not perfect. The Buy or Die excerpt says this somewhat, but the Residents have also expressed this in their song "The Scarecrow" from a relatively recent album of theirs called "Intruders". Basically the song (which most of its content is in its "backstory") is about a driver who sees the unsettling image of a scarecrow dressed in the robe that James Brown wore in his 2004 mugshot. That's a rough summary; it's better to read the actual thing and listen to the song. There's multiple interpretations for the track, but it generally deals with the complicated relationship between a celebrity's public image and their actual self. Even though the Residnets don't necessarily ask you to use this same critical thinking onto them, it does feel like they want you to, especially considering a majority of their pieces is about highlighting the unpleasant and complicated side of things.
It’s a… unique experience to listen to this band when you’re terminally online. When you’re terminally online, you have this incredibly strong need for some form of justice, and you just want all these terrible things to be dealt with. You can’t accept the fact that sometimes you just hate someone or something for no good reason. When consuming media in this type of mindset, there comes this need for media to be condemned. It’s almost like some kind of instinct. But when these feelings and thoughts become so primal, you forget to really ask “why”. I think that concept of asking “why” comes from the denial of evil and all that is morally wrong being complicated and cunning. And when we carry this denial, we forget that even the greatest geniuses can be right wingers, we start to think that you have to be some kind of idiot to be conservative, and that you’d have to be mentally ill to be a right winger. In a way, it ends up biting you back. When you become consumed in queer discourse or something of the sort, you end up forgetting how to see the true weight of things.
I don’t blame anyone who finds some of the Residents’ work overly upsetting. You have a right to be upset, but I would like to recognize that they are using some of this stuff to bring a deeper discussion on some topics. They don’t always do a fantastic job at communicating their point such as with the Third Reich n’ Roll and the Confused Transsexual, though I think it would benefit you if you at least gain the habit of just asking “why are you showing me this” when engaging with media. At the same time, you shouldn’t be forcing yourself to interact with media that genuinely triggers you in any way. The concept of media and art as a whole are so convoluted and nuanced that it just can’t be labeled. Ultimately, a lot of stuff’s true meaning is up in the air, and we have to find a good way to deal with that fact.
An additional note. I recall that period of time when I hated the Residents. I remember writing an essay that was quite whimsy-eyed for Dadaism during that period. Granted, I was not aware that Dadaism had a sizable issue with cultural appropriation at the time but still. I find this fact awfully ironic, and maybe I even see myself as a little stupid back then (even though I don’t believe in the concept of intelligence and by extension stupidity tbh). I don’t see this former self as stupid because I expressed a very justified fear and outrage towards the revelations I made, but rather because I didn’t think deeper of it, didn’t necessarily think about the “why” and “what” about it. What bizarre behavior to see from an aspiring experimental artist. Even when something’s obviously wrong, it’s worthwhile to think about why it’s wrong, what makes it wrong, and what were the steps that led to such a thing.
I remember what Dadaism meant to me back then being like what the Residents sorta mean to me now. Both objects have given me a deeper understanding of art and media as a whole. But for the case of Dadaism, it more just seems like I was trying to find some justification for experimental art. I can only really describe through, “Oh some experimental art is just silly nonsense! Now I can’t be seen as some kind of freak!” but it also doesn’t really illustrate it completely. Indeed, it’s not helpful to only see experimental art as this “scary”, serious, and overly dramatic behavior because it only ended up making my pursuit to becoming an experimental artist feel more exclusive. For the Residents, however, I feel like I learned that art is ugly. Reality is sometimes cruel and ugly and we have to come to terms with that. The past is complicated and could never be black and white. Art is personal and perhaps we’ll just never know a deeper meaning behind some artwork besides the artist and potentially their loved ones. But I think the most important thing I learned is that you can be an artist and live. It’s possible for you to make the things that you want to make, regardless of how strange it is, while also living a life that can support it. It’ll probably never make you rich, but you can express yourself, be yourself, and live.
Concluding Thoughts
The Residents are my favorite fucking thing ever. They are literally one of my biggest inspirations and have impacted me deeply. I've connected and related to some of their work in a way I haven't before. They have this sense of intense honesty in their work that isn't there to be cruel, but to express that something unfortunately exists. I've realized that's something I strive for in my art as well, though it looks more different there. I want to illustrate "ugly" things and I need to sometimes highlight the observations I make, which tend to be distinct and stuff people haven't thought of before. It's great to have that, but this can be so genuinely isolating. (sorry if I said it in a way that sounded pompous, please understand that this is a genuine stuggle for me). The Residents connected to me in the strangest way possible: they pointed out things I didn't see or think before. They changed me. After so much time spent influencing my friends' music taste and giving them a better understanding of certain topics, there is finally someone who changed me.
The Residents have also just helped me with some tough moments. Even though they're a band that constantly touches on heavy topics and emotions, there's always this sense of optimism in their pieces, that sense of "it can be better". I think this also applies to their living philosphy. Despite all the financial hardships the band has gone through, they keep making what they want to make. I mentioned it in the previous section, but the Residents show that you can be yourself, make art, and live in this capitalist hellhole.
I certainly don't have concluding thoughts as heavy as Xavier does. But my feelings still are sentimental. Sure, I don't think about those deeper themes and whatever (while I do appreciate them very much), but I still feel that weight. I suppose my intellect is just placed elsewhere, in a place more sound based. I think the Residents give me hope, but it's just in an abstract way. I don't know how to explain why the live version of the Car Theif makes me feel hopeful. I guess I could, but then it would get personal. I feel the Residents, I guess. And they'll remind to me to stay curious about sound."We are only equal in the grave and in the dark", Said a man whose head was halfway eaten by a shark. You might ask me why I would continue on like this. I doubt that I would know, but I could only make a guess: Half a mouth may not be much, but it's still half a kiss."
- Nobody Laughs When They Leave by The Residents