I NEED A NOISE: A NOISE BIBLE

A painting made to advertise the fanfic. It depicts the Noise with half of his head above purple waters, which have static and sound waves in them. The bottom half of the bottom splits off to show the Noise's body in a dark area, in which he shows off his hands to the viewer. He has rat paws and claws instead of regular hands. Additionally, part of his shirt is opened up to reveal his anthropromorphized heart reaching toward the viewer with barbed fingers, and he also has a rat tail. His gloves are on the floor. The top half of the painting has a grey, distorted city backdrop. The Bo Noise is on top of the Noise's head and is stylized to have a cat body, a bowtie, no mouth, a broken heart at the end of their tail, and Sonic-like eyes. A speech bubble is pointed at the Noise, and inside the bubble there is the fanfic's logo.

I Need a Noise: A Noise Bible is a peculiar little byproduct by my (Xavier Coolthude) obsession with the Noise from Pizza Tower. The "Bible" subheading more refers to "pitch bible" rather than "Holy Bible" since this fanfiction is essentially an extended pitch bible for a story that will never come into fruition (+lots of narrative elements). Granted, this fanfic is also rather symbolic yet direct like the actual Bible, so I suppose it goes both ways.

What if Mr. Beast and Femtanyl had a baby? Well, there's no way in hell that would happen, but I imagine this hypothetical infant would grow up to be an bizarre and obnoxious person, simultaneously unapologetic and a phony, and would experience some interesting outcomes because of it. Think of this fanfic as a "biography" of this baby, though in here they're called the Noise. Maybe you'll find this whole story absurd due to it being about the Noise from fucking Pizza Tower above all people, perhaps you'll be surprised by your own investment in the story... or maybe it ends up being a bit of both. Irregardless, I implore you to read a least a little bit of this story if you ever ponder about this baby like I do.

Here are some other things I would like to add. Most of the fanfic's meat lies in the "Post-Tower" section and therefore is the longest part. Again, because of its "headcannon doc/pitch bible" nature, a lot of story elements are communicated blatently, but I attempted to implement some subtlety and I hope the story is still somewhat thought provoking. Each major section is broken up into smaller segments with a designated title to make the fanfic easier to read and bookmark. The point of view is 3rd person, but there are occaisional moments where it changes to reflect a character's thoughts at a given moment.

However, this fanfic is 18+. Although the fanfic isn't intended to be pornographic, it discusses a handful of sexual themes and fetishes.

In addition, the fanfic covers heavy topics such as:
  • Suicidal Ideation/Suicide Attempt
  • Parental/Chilhood Trauma, such as Abuse and Emotional Neglect
  • Workplace Abuse
  • Addiction (Nicotine)
  • Self Harming Behaviors/Self Harm
  • Sexual Coercion
  • Stalking
  • Religious Undertones
  • Mild Ableist Language
    • Also there are drawings that depict the following:
  • Gore/blood
  • Body Horror
  • Vague Religious Undertones

    • Please stay safe and avoid reading this fanfic if you are triggered by these topics.

    Miscellaneous Information
  • 24.3K words/38 pages of text
  • Genre: Drama
  • Tropes/Gimmicks: That Tumblr shit where one character is invisible and pesters another character, The Noise is "my Bojack Horseman", Mild Projecting, "Doomed Yuri" (I must emphasize the heavy quotations for this one), Grim Fandango Demon-esque worldbuilding

  • Main/Supporting Cast: The Noise (he/she), Noisette (she/her), The Doise (she/he), Peppino (he/him), The Bo Noise (they/he), Peddito (he/it), Mr. Stick (he/him)
  • Minor Characters/Mentioned characters: Gustavo (he/they), Pepperman (he/she), Doisette (he/she), The Vigilante (she/they, mentioned), Fake Peppino (they/it, mentioned), Burton (he/she/they, mentioned)
  • Featured Ships: Noise Couple, Pepstavo, Sturton/Mr. Stick x Burton, Doise Couple, Pepperman x The Vigilante x Noisette (SUPER YURI THAT APPEARS IN ONE SENTENCE)

    • Table of Contents
    PRE-TOWER
    IN THE TOWER
    POST-TOWER
    MISC. SCENARIOS