I NEED A NOISE: A NOISE BIBLE

IN THE TOWER

The Pizza Tower's Origins

In late January of 2023, a tower was erected, looking as if it had been there since the beginning of time, in the nearby fields of a random barren American town. It took no time for hundreds upon thousands of people to be mysteriously drawn to the tower, all of them sharing one similarity: They all happened to be Italian. The phenomenon quickly got popular, many a news outlet covered it and the internet reacted with both humor and awe. Since it was only drawing in Italians, it gained the nickname “Pizza Tower”. Not much concern was held by the outside world since the only ones who were compelled to go inside were Italians.

If they ever entertained the idea, they would’ve quickly learned that the tower sought to transform its victims into surreal food-like beings and torture them for all of eternity. Perhaps if they hypothetically snooped around more they would also learn that the whole thing was schemed up by Pizzaface, god of petty hatred and the world’s worst pizza. He would lose most of his powers after splitting his younger sister Pizzahead, the god of chaos and also the world’s shittiest pizza slice. (Think of this splitting as being similar to Eve being made of Adam’s rib.) Because of Pizzaface’s lack of power, Pizzahead had to be the one who made the plan into something tangible.

Noise's Descent Inside the Tower

Of course, by proxy of him being part Italian, the Noise was drawn into the tower as well. You didn’t even need to observe it to know how popular it was, and the Noise’s intentions were obvious. He went off to enter the tower to record a challenge video of him entering and exiting the mysterious place. He had a couple of buddies he typically recorded his videos with, but none of them were interested in the project and thus he went alone.

Exploring an ancient castle-like structure would be rife with potential for a good video. Of course, the dank air, instruments of classic torture, and empty age of such a place chilled even the Noise, but he couldn’t also help thinking about how insane of a prank it would be to lock someone inside this nightmarish place. Well, if you want a job done, do it yourself. Inflict yourself with the horrible prank you conceived. If you give tragedy a smug look in its eye and quip in front of its face, you might as well be the one in control of the situation. The Noise had started to toy with the idea of putting himself in peril and laughing in its face to impress his audience. Perhaps it would be a more ethical way to make money, but the Noise was more concerned about not being taunted by potential regret. Oh, regret, how you tend to spectate! Just a mere speck that watches with the sea… a speck that seems to be trying to get closer and closer seats.

He winded up every spiral staircase, higher and higher, he felt as if every gust of wind hitting his back was someone bumping into him who was too scared to ask for pardon… but maybe you should do something if you happen to recognize that. The passages of this tower seemed to lead to one another rather nonsensically and deceitfully, and not in a way that can be laughed at. Nonetheless, it tempts some kind of comment. Noise, my friend whom I follow like a disciple, why haven’t you laughed in this tower’s face yet? From the way you hold the camera I can see your lips tense and your eyes dart around. I thought you were the kind of guy to not resist speaking your mind. The camera’s view from the world is obscured as the Noise barges open a heavy door, with the camera catching the lighting change once he enters the room. Then, and only then, does he finally make a comment.

“Is that a fucking golf course?”

The Noise entered the aforementioned golf course hastily, enamored by the sheer existence of the thing inside of what he thought was an ancient castle. Even though the other sights that could be seen in the area were also interesting–vast pirate-themed artificial beaches, a whimsical fantasy forest, a reality-breaking pocket into space–he was so strongly drawn to the golf course. You have to admit, it is a very humorous sight, and hey, maybe playing golf could be a good way to de-stress.

To his surprise, there were other people at the golf course. Several pig-like demons observed the game studiously, despite the ball being the fattest, most-nerdiest, sentient wadded ball of pizza that ever lived. Honestly, the whole place looked like if a fast food chain installed a golf course in its confines to entertain its guests… and man, it smelled like one too. This surreal setting did not detract the Noise’s interest in the player that was putting the “ball”. The lanky and effervescent Pizzahead swayed her hips before punting the sentient golf ball with an umbrella for some reason.

“I don’t blame you for punting that guy; I’d do the same,” The Noise remarked. Pizzahead laughed, not startled by his sudden appearance, almost as if she was expecting him to arrive. She, being a goddess of chaos, thrived off of spontaneity and finds herself quietly thrilled whenever something unexpected happens.

Pizzahead was amused by the Noise ever since he made that quip, and the two’s conversation very quickly became lively. Even though Pizzahead described some of the horrible misdeeds she and her brother were committing, the Noise raised no concern. Submitting to the fondness he held for the insufferable influencer, he offered the guy a deal. Undying fame, life as a moviestar, dominion over the Vacation Resort, the ability to fuck with anyone he wanted, and a girlfriend perfect for him. Pizzahead did clarify there were going to be some drawbacks to the deal, by proxy of him being Italian. Firstly, the Noise would transform from a milquetoast White Italian Latino to a weird looking, stumpy White Italian Latino with a stupid face. Secondly, a horrible beast would seek his flesh to feed upon, cursing him to enter a cycle of dying and being sporadically hunted for again and again. The Noise, so drunken by the mere thought of undying fame and his ideal girlfriend, accepted the deal.

The effects were mostly immediate. Sure, he looked weird as hell, but he’s got all he’d ever want now! The Noise, by the nature of the deal, was treated lavishly, despite being a guy who’s part of the demographic the pizza siblings intend to torture. Though taking responsibility for the third major floor and becoming a moviestar could be seen as a drawback, it was nothing that really burdened the mind of the Noise. Honestly, he could be seen more as another instrument for torture that the pizza siblings employed to assist with their goal. Again, this was nothing that haunted the Noise’s mind all that much… at least for now. Besides, he’s got his own ideal girlfriend who can console and validate him as much as needed!

"Manic Pixie Dream Girl"

Speaking of Noisette, it would be helpful to give some information about what she is.

She isn’t just a person manifested by the tower, but more specifically a lust demon. Demons cannot reproduce conventionally, and thus need to be prompted into the world. Noisette didn’t have much of a life before Noise and Pizzahead’s deal; she sorta just… appeared one day. Now, this is a tower built off of pure chaos, but the demons and connections to hell aren’t there just ‘cause.

During the beginnings of the tower, the pizza siblings confronted Satan to strike a potential deal with him. He, Satan, held great fear towards Pizzahead in particular, not wanting to underestimate that sheer power of utter chaos. Due to this fear, Satan hesitantly gave into the merger. There were some benefits given to hell’s side of the compromise, the demons assigned to the area were given fair wages, a good union, and a complementary golf course. To hell’s fortune, the outcomes of this compromise have been fairly mild for the most part.

For a lust demon, Noisette is incredibly loving and it’s hard to fathom she’s even a demon in the first place. She isn’t even deceptive in any way! Granted, her worst fault is being very enabling towards the Noise in particular, thus perpetuating the Noise’s role as an instrument of torture. Giving more detail on her personality indirectly gives more information about the Noise. Noisette is an unapologetic quirky girl, the kinds who talk in a high pitched voice, tend to use cringey vocabulary, and who get a good kick out of playing with a bunch of pet ferrets by shoving them into bins full of dry pasta. She can be considered a “cringe millennial”.

Considering the general relationship Noise has with cringe and cringe culture, there comes a concern that Noisette would often be an object of ridicule to the Noise. Surprisingly, that isn’t the case. As mentioned in a previous section, the Noise secretly has a soft spot for cringe that he usually hates admitting to, and Noisette is one of those rare cases where he can’t hide it. Sure, he’ll beg and yell to be let go when Noisette is dragging him away from some good antics, but the way his gaze softens around her cannot be denied. It’s becoming apparent that this “ideal girlfriend” doesn't just cover Noise’s superficial desires in a woman (a quirky loving feminine woman who’s down to femdom) but also digs deep into his psyche and uncover some secret desires. Of course, there’s the desire to be genuinely and tenderly loved, but… what’s with the rabbit ears? How come this demon manifested for a deal… happens to be a trans woman? Now all I can do is wonder what will the Noise see inside this pond…

It’s odd and even rather frustrating that the Noise suffered very little drawback from the deal, spare being turned into a weird looking guy. Well, what about the beast that was going to trap the Noise in a cycle of neverending torment? A cycle of a decomposer reviving the dead? Could karma be a sweet dear, a justice system perhaps, and persecute this man to maybe make life a little better? Unfortunately, no. It should be acknowledged that the Pizza Tower is a place of torment, and its use of spontaneity is certainly charged. The beast who was manifested to hunt the Noise down for his sins, Peddito, would end up becoming preoccupied with another target.

I'm Your Best Friend

Ironic how someone like the Noise, who had millions upon millions of subscribers before he entered the tower, was promptly forgotten by the general public as if he was just a fad. Emphasis on “general public”. It seemed like only one person still remembered who the Noise was after he submitted to the tower: an autistic seventeen-year-old boy with Schizotypal Personality Disorder named Daniel Eterno, but also went by Javier or “the Doise” online.

Considering that the guy was also a transfeminine gay obsessed with the content from a guy who made a variety of bigoted jokes, it’s easy to wonder what necessarily drew the Doise towards the Noise’s content and made her such a giant fan of it. Well, there’s the fact the two of them are both Italian Mexicans (as well as the Doise’s fixation on content that some would declare as “slop”), but that’s really it. The Doise did connect to that shared ethnicity quite a bit, and seeing the Noise tell an endearing joke in Spanish always made her smile. Again, the two shared little similarities and the Doise had to stretch for that attachment. Perhaps that’s all you really need to get attached when you’ve lived a life plugged into the internet with nobody else outside that domain that you love and loves you back.

In addition, the Noise’s parasocial behaviors instilled an unusual and powerful delusion that the Doise was best friends with the Noise. Typically, these delusions were brief and based on the fear of persecution, nonetheless this particular one proved to be one of the worst delusions that the Doise would suffer with in her life. The Doise would not necessarily perpetuate the same faults as the Noise did, but she did become a person who would greatly excuse them and internalize the prejudices indirectly spread by the Noise. She suffers a similar fault that Noisette does, though both of these characters end up suffering from it in different ways. For the Doise, the delusion would also lead to much stress and even more isolation, seeing the Noise as this perfect and kindhearted guy and thus any attack on his character as something cruel.

The Doise became suspicious and concerned when the Noise didn’t upload a video on his regular schedule, which prompted the Doise to begin spelunking for the Noise’s whereabouts. It didn’t take much effort to learn that the Noise had set out to make a video covering the Pizza Tower, and some research on the tower gave sufficient information on his location. The sudden total stop in discussion about the Noise only deepened her concern, boiling into a foaming pot of anxiety about his condition.

This would prove to be too much for him, causing him to run away from his home in Mexico all the way to the tower in a nondescript American town. Living in poverty alongside neglectful parents (due to them having to work excessively to stay afloat), the Doise was numb to surviving the journey’s stressful conditions. “Eh, I’ll just thug it out,” the Doise finds herself saying often. To him, it was a funny way to put the cork back in the bottle and it rolled off the tongue in a satisfying way.

Though the Doise had a nasty habit of bottling his emotions, he was a little unsettled by how he couldn’t resist going inside the tower. Even though the tower was blackened and barren, as if submitting into oblivion, she was compelled not only by this “instinct” that she knew where exactly the Noise was, but also this weird “need” to be inside it. It was uncertain whether or not this moment could be endured and there would be a tomorrow where the Doise could wake up to numbed feelings. After calling out for the Noise a couple of times, she turned around and was confronted by a mirror.

When she first saw her reflection, her first instinct was to mistake it for the Noise. This wasn’t true, and in reality she had turned into a peculiar lookalike to the Noise’s current appearance. While he was inspecting his appearance, he caught eye of a pink shape reflecting off the mirror. Doise turned around to see a horrific beast rocketing towards her, an unworldly combination of man and bird with sockets that would’ve been endless fleshy voids if it weren’t for the tiny, piercing eyes within them. It was none other than the creature that was assigned to punish the Noise: Peddito. He artfully swooped and carried the Doise away to his nest, then proceeded to coldly devour the flesh of the Doise. It was a cruel, cruel death enacted on some weirdo. I doubt such a terrible thing would happen again; she’s good as gone now.

And then the Doise woke up as if it just was a nightmare. Though struggling to quell the horror of what happened before, she continued to look for the Noise, unaware that she had just been inflicted with a terrible curse.

The Gaffaw-Worthy Angel of Regret

Despite all of this offloading of pain and suffering onto others, one single thing would haunt the Noise in a very strange way. Maybe it was manifesting for a while, maybe not, though what is certain is that it–or rather they, became tangible after some time spent in the tower.

They are only visible to the Noise, which has left him questioning whether he’s hallucinating this thing or not. Confusion would not be the only emotion associated with this strange and mysterious character; an absurd amount of fear was also instilled into the Noise, a deep sense of fright that he could not put his finger on. The being’s visits would be irregular for a while, forming their silhouette through distorted objects within the Noise’s vision. It was somewhat ignorable at first, but the fear became more bothersome for him. Not only was he afraid, but he was horribly embarrassed by this fear because, at face value, he was essentially getting scared shitless by visions of a poorly drawn version of himself.

One night, when taking a smoke break within one of the Pig City’s many alleyways, the strange vision began to speak to the Noise. He cringed and fell into fear as the being danced into the scene, singing a tune that would’ve entertained internet furries during the 2010s. The being introduced themself as the Bo Noise, stating that they strive to be some sort of guardian angel figure towards the Noise, hoping to improve the Noise’s condition. Still consumed by the fear, the Noise did not trust the Bo Noise, and would not listen to them at first, which in turn perpetuated his suffering.

Not only is the Bo Noise an embodiment of the looming regret that the Noise feels, behaving like the very same people he would bully and mock, but he, Bo Noise, also embodies a pure, more innocent form of the Noise. Because of this innocence, the Noise is reminded that he himself is a hypocrite, a “fool” like all the others who yearn for embarrassing indulgences. The Bo Noise also serves as a reminder that the potential for good, despite it all, lies in him, furthering the wrongness of his actions.

Alas, this was not enough for the Noise to change his ways just yet. Much of Noise's time was spent messing with others and relishing in his privilege.

Being Tortured Never Felt this Good!

Taking a moment to cover his professions, the Noise was the host of a TV show that was broadcasted on NTV called “Prank of All Trades” which functioned very similarly to TheoNoisePranks. The Noise hosted the show and while money was still handed out to prank victims, money in the Pizza Tower had no real practical use outside of flaunting. The pranks in question were much more cartoonish and even nightmarish in nature, and were used to inflict torture on residents in the tower. Even though the show racked in large viewer counts, this was only really due to the fact that there was nothing else to watch in the tower that wasn’t absurdly boring, unsettling, or could place a terrible curse on you. He was given the illusion of praise which he fell for, but he mostly did it for her own self pleasure and the approval of Pizzahead. Granted, Noisette also provided support and approval, but she wasn’t very fond of it and only gave it out of her love for the Noise.

The Noise’s movie “career” was less prominent, but it seemed like the tower’s population enjoyed these a little more since he wasn’t hurting real people. These films were comparable to the large number of movies that Elvis Presley starred in, in which the Noise was this “absolute chad” who’d get the girl (who was always played by Noisette) in every movie. The films would also have that adventure format that Elvis’ films had, but do not be swayed; these films make it so unbearably clear that they are from the 2020s. Ah well, at least the worst crime these movies did was being annoying (usually).

Hello, Old Friends

After several months in the tower, the Doise finally encountered the Noise and was overjoyed, having this deep instinctual intuition that the person he approached in that moment is the Noise. At first, the Noise assumed this kid was a fan of his work that he did in the tower but… no. This person had been a fan of his work before then, deeply moved by his work for a few years now. Something about this fact unsettled the Noise. Perhaps it reminded him that he was in fact tangible and had left behind some kind of legacy, or maybe he just saw Doise merely as a creepy fan and not a mentally troubled teenager. Regardless of the reason behind it, the encounter devolved into a fight that ended in the Doise once again being swooped and killed by Peddito. This first interaction with the Doise left a strange taste in the Noise’s mouth that he, again, could not put his finger on, but it nonetheless reminded him of the drifting shapes of the Bo Noise. It prompted a rather surface level and fleeting reconsideration of his life choices.

“What the hell kind of audience did I garner during my YouTube days?” He muttered to himself.

That wouldn't be the first time someone from his old career would come back to clash with him. Some weeks after the kerfuffle, an old contestant brawled with the Noise: Peppino Spaghetti. Peppino recognized the Noise from his nasally voice, which triggered a visceral fury within him. This fury prompted Peppino to rant to the Noise about how he made his life worse, leaving the Noise somewhat flabbergasted that this was the second time that someone that knew him from her former career had encountered her. It was more tempting to feel sympathy towards his opponent this time, and he found himself fully processing that what he’s doing now isn’t that different from what he did before, making his chest feel like it was collapsing into a pit of regret.

To have a stranger that you’ve hurt personally confront you once again was, for lack of a better word, enlightening. I suppose this “enlightenment” was more biting an apple than intellectual stimulation. And my, how horrifying biting into the apple can be. What an ugly, ugly feeling. How it pierces and drags you into the pit! But… you certainly can’t reverse it, can you? There’s an implication that you’ve hurt many people and you’ve been doing this for so long and life’s so perfect for you now and… indeed, you’re in too deep. Too deep, very deep. I guess it doesn't really matter, anyway. Besides, you’re not him, you’re not that weirdo you fought a couple weeks ago, and you’re nobody else but you, the person who’s not really getting the sour taste in their mouth! He’s looking a lot like that looney fan now, how… unsettling, no no, how HUMOROUS! For the sake of your entire identity, kick that guy’s shit in.

The fight was rather euphoric for the Noise, drunken by her own sporadic attack patterns. Blood rushed violently in the veins of both Peppino and Noise, each for their own reasons. It was a thrill for him, and it was a fight for his life. Even though Peppino was whittling him down pretty well, the Noise felt in control of the situation, knowing he could just pull out his gatling gun if he got to the end of his ropes. You know how it went, Peppino does in fact weaken the Noise enough for him to pull out his trump card only for the fight to fizzle out because he got taken away by Noisette.

It could be assumed that the Noisette did so because she just loved the Noise so much and got in his way, but that only really was a facade. Noisette had witnessed at least a major chunk of the fight and intervened through pretending to be naive and ditzy once the fight got too concerning. Once the two were in private, she did reveal her facade and explained her reasons… somewhat. She truthfully revealed her concern, but lied by saying she was only concerned for Noise’s well-being. This fight would catalyze the issues in the two’s relationship.

The Noise would lurk nearby Peppino throughout his journey out of curiosity for his quest and mild fear out of what the Pizza siblings would do if he didn’t at least spy on him, which the other bosses did as well. He’d indirectly fuck with the troubled man a bit, giving him a weird look or make him slip on a banana peel. As expected, he fought with Peppino once again on the top of the tower, and fled with the other bosses once he was bested once again.

While most of the people led by Peppino during the tower’s collapse were certainly surprised by his kindness, the Noise was the most surprised out of them all. Peppino still made it clear that he didn’t like her, but the fact that Peppino was merciful to her of all people caused the Noise to reconsider some of her actions once again. It certainly did soften her opinion on Peppino, creating fuel for the compulsive attachment she would gain for the guy.

Yeah, the tower’s down and such, but you’re certainly in too deep. You could just go back to your old account, explain your absence, and go back to making videos like you used to. Maybe you could tease the guy every now and again, but you’ll probably go back to your old life for the most part.

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